Thursday 17 September 2009

2 Rants in one day - Who knew I was this angry??

OK - I know I already ranted once today (See previous entry. If you haven't already.) but seriously. I have now seen the advert for "Love Calculator" on E4 at least 4 times this evening, and I have to complain about it.

For those of you who are luckily enough not to know what this is, the Love Calculator is a service that you can text with your name and your partners name and it replies with a percentage score of how allegedly "compatible" you are.

OK, for a moment, lets ignore the fact that this is one of those subscription services, which costs like £4.6 million pounds a day (I don't have exact figures....) and that it's almost impossible to unsubscribe from, and lets focus on the bit that REALLY irritates me.

To start with, the "compatibility rating" is worked out by the most playground tactic ever. In fact, if any of you reading this are girls, you've probably done it. (I'm not ruling out boys doing it as well you understand, but I'm pretty sure its more often a girl thing). It's done like so. Take two names, let's say, George and Louise (picked completely at random). Then you write this.

George Loves Louise

Then you work out how many times each letter of LOVES appears in the two names.
So... L = 1, O = 2, V = 0, E = 3, S = 1
So the number you get is 12031.
Then you add each digit to its neighbour to work out the next number in the chain.
So - 1+2 = 3, 2+0 = 2, 0+3 = 3, 3+1=4
So our next number is 3234
Then you do it again - so we get 557
Then again - 1012
And you keep going until you end up with a 2 digit number.
1012
113
24

And that's the answer. 24%

Not only is this UTTERLY FUCKING POINTLESS and arbitrary, the actual advert itself is what is the icing on the cake for me.

If you haven't seen it, the advert shows a man running out of a church (obviously leaving his wedding), and the woman running out and crying. Obnoxious voiceover man then tells you a fascinating story with rubbish flashbacks of how she texted love calculator six months previously, it returned them a 3% match and she ignored it. And that this is the reason he ran off.

WHAT. THE. FUCK!

So if our relationships fail stupid middle school mathematical equations then they are doomed to misery, sadness and despair??

Seriously! I know I can watch it and think what a fucking load of rubbish - but what about all the stupid chav teenagers who think that it'll actually do something. You know, like horoscopes.

I don't really have a point here. It's just I can't believe that it is OK and allowable to show an advert like that. Its one thing just suggesting that you could text your names in and see, but to actively state that it would break up a relationship??

Advert writers are c***s.

FACT.

4 comments:

Neety said...

Don't worry. I used the Universal Calculator of Awesome to calculate our compatibility, and it said "AWESOME RATING OFF CHARTS".

I think we'll be alright. *hugs*

Brawny said...

Woo! Awesomeness rules!

Coolmumh said...

woo 2 rants in one day..........who needs a love calculator if they were accurate the world would be a boring place........its just another way to make money out of teenagers and as for the advert i still say the llama defense league outstrips them all!

Little Rambling Angel. said...

I do love the fact Brawny that you've ranted about it but then seem happy that you got an awesomeness rating. BRILLIANT. :)