It's time to begin my great playthrough, and as you can see from the photo above, I was very excited to get started. And then I remembered what game I was playing...
Midway Arcade Hits (Joust/Defender)
Originally released for: Nintendo Game Boy / Game Boy Colour
Played on: Nintendo Game Boy Pocket
Release Date: 1999
As soon as this turned up as game number one on my playthrough list I was sorely disappointed. This is one of those games that I got at a car boot sale, bundled with a console. (In this case, my red Game Boy Pocket, as seen in the picture), and I remembered playing it once, for about 30 seconds, and then never touching it again.
"But never mind," I thought when I saw that it was listed first, "This is the point of the playthrough. To find those games I didn't give a fair chance to last time, and try them again. Maybe it'll be great! I mean, Joust and Defender are two famous early 80's arcade games, and if there's one thing popular old arcade games do well, it's gameplay, right?"
Well, I'm sorry to say that my previous impressions of this cartridge were not challenged in the slightest. In fact, I had to force myself to try and play both games for longer than I wanted to, and I still only lasted 15 minutes before I gave up.
The problem is primarily visual. I don't mind when graphics are basic, and I know that these games originate from the time when everything was created from blocks and triangles - which i have no problem with. The problem is that when this was transferred to the Game Boy's small screen, nobody thought "Hey, we'd better make this bigger so that people can see it". Consequentially, everything in Joust is a tiny white blob, and in Defender, while the ships are a vaguely reasonable size, the projectiles they fire are not. This would therefore lead to the infuriating situation whereby I would end up dying apparently randomly, as I had not been able to see the bullet that was hitting me.
These games also have the two issues that all modern gamers tend to find with 80's arcade games:
1) There is very little progression. The only thing you are trying to do is get a higher score.
2) Both games tend to be harder than trying to persuade the Pope to not only sanction condoms, but personally place them onto the private parts of every person trying to have sex in the world.
It's a shame in many ways, as I have played both games on other consoles (originally on my BBC B Micro when I was very young) and at that time I found them addictive and fun. And I'm sure they still are. But when I can't see what I'm doing, then it just feels that all of the fun has been surgically removed. Sorry Midway, but this was a poor conversion, and therefore my playthrough has started with a bit of a damp squib.
Rating (Out of 10): 2/10
Time played: 15 mins
Would I continue playing?: No.
So that's the first game down, and in a way it's a shame that it was such a bad game. But anyway - onwards and upwards to the next game...
Next time: Ice Climbers (Originally on NES, played on Virtual Console on 3DS)
Join me, why don't you?
And if you've got any ideas for ways I can improve these blogs, then please comment!
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