Pimp My Mate.com!

While listening to Spotify, I keep hearing an advert for mysinglefriend.com, which is as insufferably annoying as you would imagine it to be, but after having heard it several hundred times, I started to wonder what sort of dating site it is.... Because it sounds very dodgy doesn't it? Either you're going to be encouraged to date people who are already friends of yours (and if that's the case, you really don't need a website for that, alcohol and meddling friends is a much easier route), or you're going to pimp out a friend of yours that is single.

Well it turns out that it is option B.

Yes, Pimping your friends on the human equivalent of eBay is now the done thing on the internet, apparently. According to the FAQ on the site, the way to use the site is as follows:

"a friend describes their single pal, an email goes to the single who then has to look over, approve and add comments to the description before it goes live. or a single can nominate themselves, ask a friend to describe them, again approving the description and adding comments before it goes live."

OK. So basically, it's just like every other dating site out there, except you can get your friend to do all the dull data entry for you? Wonderful..

"We wanted to invent a dating site that was more fun, more interactive and less scary than the traditional way - so we could get people talking and meeting who probably wouldn't dream of joining a conventional dating agency and have the chance to get to hear about each other. How are we going to get all these wonderful cool people to meet? A little help from our friends!"

Um... the flaw with this logic is as follows. If people wouldn't dream of joining a conventional dating site, then why would they allow themselves to be put on this one? As you said in the first paragraph, oh slightly patronising website, the person is asked if they approve, so you'll still end up with the same people you get on every dating website.

NOTE - Before I go any further, I'd like to point out that I am not criticising people who use dating sites, I am just ridiculing this one for failing to be different. That is all. Back to the body of the post now.

"Single and a secret?"

Who keeps themselves a secret? Really? What do these people do? Hide under tarpaulins and then sneak out in the dead of night to gain sustenance from 24-hour Tescos (Where they may get seen by the employees, but night employees at Tescos are definitely NOT human...)

"If you are the single person, or you know a single, whose own social circle is now desiccated of decent dating potential then this site could be for you."

Or you could, you know, meet some more people in the real world...

"Wondering where all the good ones are?"

I'll give you a clue, they're not on "Please Take My Friend I'm Fed Up With Him/Her Being A Third Wheel.com"

"You can imagine that it's really not easy to describe yourself and throw yourself 'out there' all on your own. So we think the idea of having a friend persuade, endorse and depict someone is far less intimidating, and it certainly makes for a more fascinating and enlightening read!"

OK, so basically you're implying that it's easier for a friend to do it. This may be true. It may also be much more embarrassing...

"You don't have to be 'looking for love' – let's just get a wider dating pool of super-singles, resulting in some good, old-fashioned, decent dates!"

Rough Translation: Even if you're not looking for a relationship, sign up for a super-duper-fuck-fest! (Excuse my language)

"It's different too because YOU AND YOUR FRIEND are both involved; the friend who describes the single has login details too – gaining the ability to search through the latest potentials online, and recommend them to their single friend to take a look at (just like the meddling we all do offline!)."

Yeah, cos that's what you want if genuinely trying to broaden your friend circle / possible relationships, a friend sticking their nose in!

"Having a friend involved means that checking out a potential can be done together- and friends seeking out suitable types for each other generates a little matchmaking amusement – and not by a computer, but by someone who actually knows you."

This paragraph is the one that makes me laugh the most, because it basically sums up the point of the site. It's so that your friends can sign you up and then laugh at you, you poor pathetic single person, while simultaneously mocking all the other poor pathetic single people who are trying to talk to you via the website, all the while feeling superior because they have someone special in their life and you don't.

This website appears to be the start of a worrying trend, where anything can be done online. Ideas for more sites include:
Hire My Mother.com; Where you can hire peoples mothers to do your cooking and cleaning for you. The mother in question gets no option, they have to turn up and do it
Improve My Friend.com; Where you upload photographs of your ugly friends, theoretically for people to make comments about how they can become more attractive. However, the whole site will end up being taken over by trolls making comments like "U iz well butterz, stik ur hed in a bag bitch"
eBaby.com; Where you can buy babies....

Any more ideas? That's what the comments box is for folks!