Gavin.

This week I lost one of my best friends, who was taken from us too soon. Below are the words I wrote for his funeral:

About 12 years ago, Gavin took me to one side and told me that he was going to leave the youth service. This depressed me momentarily until his next sentence, which was “Instead, I’m just going to do shows on my own. Want to help?”

And that’s how Maverick started. Gavin had the vision, and I was the helper. And I quickly learnt that no matter how crazy his ideas, we’d achieve them. Staging Macbeth on a chessboard? Done. Casting, rehearsing and performing a show in a week? Done. Persuading a school that he, I, James, Matt and Brendan were a respectable theatre in education group? Done.

Over the next few years we repeatedly pushed people off Rockley pier in the name of art, painted 219 A3 playing cards to decorate a set with, acquired a surfboard from the tip and wrote, directed and produced more shows than I can possibly remember.

But while he was a man brimming over with artistic ideas, he never lost sight of the real reason behind Maverick. It was somewhere to go for the kids. Didn’t matter who you were, where you came from, what your circumstances, if you came along and were enthusiastic, you were instantly accepted.

And that just highlights who he was. A wonderful, caring and artistic person, who had the best track record I’ve ever known at trying to please everyone at once, and understood children’s theatre better than anyone I’ve ever met,. You can see that just by looking at the scripts, plays and stories that he wrote. Incidentally, people always thought that Gavin wrote scripts slowly. Not true. He wrote very quickly, it’s just he always avoided starting to write until the last possible moment.

I could talk about Gavin and Maverick forever. Without him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, and I’m sure that many of you wouldn’t either. He was one of my closest friends, and I shall miss him beyond belief.

To conclude, I thought I’d quote some of his own lyrics, with a small adjustment made to fit the situation (as he was prone to do himself.)

This is the Story
How one man changed our lives
Never looking for Glory
One man, One fedora
A legend that thrives.

Just remember, the teller may be gone, but the stories that he tells will forever live on.

Thanks Gav. We'll miss you.

DVDs make me angry...

We've made it to 2011. That's right, a year that I always assumed would only ever exist as a Best Before Date on tinned goods is now here.And do you know what? I even thought about doing a blog about New Years Resolutions, in line with just about everyone on the internet. But then, this evening, I saw something that made me much angrier than stupid New Years resolutions.

Tonight, I watched Sex and the City 2 on DVD. No, that's not the thing that made me angry, as while it's not necessarily my sort of film, I managed to sit through it making a few silly and somewhat rude comments (to see the best of these, look for the hashtag #manvssatc on Twitter). No, what made me angry was after we'd watched the film, my lovely Neety wanted to put the special features on.

I feel I need to clarify this. The action of putting the special features on isn't what made me angry. What made me mildly annoyed firstly, was that the 'Special Features' Disc only has five featurettes on, which made me wonder why they couldn't just put it on the first disc (the answer, of course, being that then they can advertise it as a Two-Disc Special Edition), but again, I ignored this.

And then, the killer moment. When Neety clicked on the second featurette she wanted to watch, an advert for all the other Sex and the City DVDs played before the feature started. Yes, that's right, an advert was glued onto the front of the feature.

That's a step too far for me. I accept that we get trailers and adverts on DVDs when we first put them in (which you can always traditionally skip by pressing the menu button) and I know that these often don't seem to match up very well with the main feature. (Case in point is the SATC2 DVD which has a trailer for Cats and Dogs: The revenge of Kitty Galore on it. Because that will obviously appeal to the same people who'd watch Sex and the City....) And I expect special features for a film to contain clips from other films/shows in the franchise just to remind you of the bits you've forgotten. I even expect to see that incredibly annoying un-skippable anti-piracy advert on the front of the DVD that you have bought legally. (Interestingly, that advert is very rarely on pirated DVDs so I'm told, so doesn't that make the thing pointless in itself?) But to force you to sit through an advert when trying to watch a special feature on a DVD you've paid for? That's just rude.

Take TV for example. Yes, we now have the 'credit squeeze', where the end credits for the program you have just enjoyed are squashed to one side so that the irritating continuity announcer can remind you what is coming up next. But at least that's at the end, so you can ignore it or turn it off. But I take exception to being forced to watch adverts on a DVD I've paid for.

Can you imagine what it'd be like in real life if that was the situation. If whenever you wanted to see, speak to or engage with anyone, they would stop and advertise other things that they thought you might want, based on the opening line of conversation you had fed to them? No-one would stand for it. So why do we stand for it on DVDs?

I don't think we should. I think we should make a stand. I'm going to rise up and speak to producers of DVDs and tell them that this type of direct marketing just isn't cricket. And if that this all continues then I shall not be buying any more DVDs....

.... Oh who am I kidding. I'm not going to boycott anyone. This isn't going to stop me buying DVDs. (It's lack of money and storage space that does that!). In fact the entire result of this rant will simply be that you all read it and judge me for over-recating to the whole situation.

Ah well, ranting is what the internet is for, right?

Accelerating towards Adulthood

So I'm nearly 30.

Yes, that's right dear reader, I know that this information is shocking to you, but I am nearly 30 - the age when I'm supposed to be grown up, and sensible, and stuff.

*laughs*

But seriously, whilst having a conversation with the lady in my life the other day, after I'd made several self deprecating age-related jokes, she asked me the following:

"Are you really worried about turning thirty?"

My answer? "No."

Which is true. I mean, the fact that I am heading into the strange world of middle-age (although according to Wikipedia, I'm either five or ten years away from that yet, but I digress) does make me think about my life, what I've achieved, where I am, where I'm going. But do you know what? I'm happy with it.

But since it is a time for self-reflection and consideration, I'm going to try (the important word here being "try") to write a few blogs about this oncoming milestone.

I've never been one of those people who made a list of "things to do before I'm 30", and, although I certainly had ideas for what I wanted to achieve in the next ten years when I turned 20, these things change. However, people who publish these lists seem to assume that everyone wants to do, or should have done, the things they suggest. As such, they're all pretty vague. So, in the nature of well-balanced journalism and not, you know, just picking something to randomly ridicule (honest), I've discovered that Hallmark is not just a company who produces crap cards and a crap TV channel, but also this crap list as well. Shall we see what I've accomplished, and what I need to do in the next month and a bit?

Attempt to Moonwalk across the dancefloor in a crowded nightclub

I'm not a big fan of nightclubs. Or crowds. So no. I've tried to do it drunkenly in a kitchen if that counts... (it did not go well..)

Dance all night and get home when it's light!

Replace 'Dance' with 'Drink' and I've done it. Many times.

Realise that you still don't know what you want to do when you grow up

Yeah. This is true. I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. But I don't care much about rushing the discovery of it either.

Audition for a reality show, regardless of your ability or reputation

Sadly, I have done this. I sent in an audition tape for Big Brother 2. Sad times. In my defence, I was drunk at the time...

Purchase a ridiculously expensive and totally 'unpractical' pair of shoes - Just because!

Is this list for women? I don't tend to purchase shoes that are either expensive or unpractical. I just have three pairs of shoes. Boots, posh shoes, trainers.

Go to work in your 'night before' clothes at least once

Done it. Many times.

Realise finally that you'll always feel like a 5 year old inside - no-one ever grows up!

I'm not a 5 year old inside. I'm at least 13....

Blag your way into the VIP area!

Define blag.... I've been in many, but traditionally whilst working....

Spend a night in a haunted house, with friends and torches

OK, this is impossible, because ghosts don't exist. So I can't go to a haunted house in the first place. Damn you Hallmark, making up even more crap.

Recreate a scene from a famous film!

I've done this. More than once I'm sure.

Do something your Mum says you'll regret - then not regret it

I've lost count of the number of times I've done this...

Make a spontaneous purchase, something indulgent, expensive and gorgeous for yourself no worries.

Yup. But that could be to do with the fact I'm not great with money.

Invent a 7 day weekend! With continuous Friday Feeling

I'm sorry, this I don't understand. How can I invent a 7 day weekend? Does it mean just spend a week living like every day is a weekend? Well I've done that, it's called a holiday... dumbasses.

Drink a Manhattan cocktail in Manhattan!

Not happened. Not likely to either.

Take part in a midnight marathon

Yes, because if I'm going to run 26 miles at my current fitness level, the best time to do it is in the dark so I can't see where I'm going....

Have the guts to start my own business

I've had the guts many times. The money? That's a different story...

Sing your heart out in a different language. Very liberating!

Done it many times. Prefer singing in English though.

Learn to Salsa!

Have you SEEN me dance?

Zorbing down a steep hill! So much fun...if you’re not sick!

Love to do it. It's expensive though...

Find the perfect little black dress!

OK, nowhere in this list does it say it's for women. Does that mean men are looking for the perfect little black dress as well? Was there a memo no-one gave me?

Sleep under the stars

Why? It's cramped... oh that says STARS. My bad. Yeah, I agree with this, do it. It's peaceful. And fun.

See in the New Year in a foreign city

Why? I like to see in the New Year with people I know and like. I can't afford to take all of them to a foreign city too! I saw the New Year in in Southampton this year, does that count?

Resist everything except temptation

What the FUCK does this even mean??

Wave your Union Jack at the last night of the Proms!

Done it. Well, waved it at the TV anyway

Set a Guinness World Record

I tried to do this once, and set the world record for eating bananas. I failed.

Learning to sing just one karaoke song...well!

I can sing many karaoke songs :) Whether I do them well, that's a question for the audience surely?

Get your kicks on Route 66!

Why would a road give me kicks?

Do the Conga!

Yes, I have been drunk at a party before. Ergo this has been done.

Find something you are really good at and make your mark on the world!

Yeah OK, way to ramp up the expectations here. All the other things have been fairly easy to do, but this? Define 'really good'? Define 'make your mark'? Are you telling me that if by thirty I haven't written a famous symphony, or had a hit single, or cured cancer, or been awarded a nobel prize, then I should give up? Fuck you Hallmark.

Do one thing that actually terrifies you!

Done that. A lot. I don't recommend it. Don't believe the psychiatrists. 90% of the time, if you do something you're terrified of, it'll just make you more terrified!

So to be clear, I've done about half of those. So am I about to rush out and buy a little black dress, some impractical shoes, discover a 7 day weekend, set a World Record and then Moonwalk across a crowded dancefloor?

Surprisingly, no, I'm not.

Alright then Mr Sarcastic Bastard, I hear you all shout, so what advice do you give? What would you say that people should do before they're thirty?

My answer? Whatever makes you happy. Simple. I mean if you look at my list of things I'm proud that I've done in the last nearly-thirty years, there's a wide variety of stuff. Yes there's my creative side, I've written plays, pantomimes, musicals, stories, songs, films and even a novel, and performed on stage as everything from a plant to a woman, but there's the other things too. I've seen my big sister get married, gained some of the best friends a guy could have, and, most notably (and recently), I've moved in with the most gorgeous girl I've ever known.

Middle age? Pah. I'm not even half-way through (hopefully - barring accidents). Bring it on.

POSTSCRIPT - If you want to support Brawny's creative side, then go and see Maverick's production of "The Cursed Treasure of Barbarous Bill" - his latest play, performed with two other one-act plays in St Clement's Hall, Parkstone on 28th-30th October 2010.

Driving me Crazy...

So, after my points I made in my previous blog as far as reasons why I wouldn't be writing blogs more often, I find myself procrastinating with a blog entry. Oh well, such is life.

So, the other day at work, I was browsing the Daily Echo (as it's sold in the canteen, and therefore it's the closest thing to read) and I noticed another in a long line of stories regarding speed cameras and how good/bad they were. There's been a few of them recently, whether it be the announcement that the Wessex Way 40mph limit is continuing, the justification for said announcement after outcry from the common man, the discovery of how much money the Holes Bay camera made in a year, and the question over whether they'll all be shut down.

But I'm not commenting on these as specific stories. Yes, I drive down the Wessex Way to work every day, and yes I wish the speed limit was back to 50 along there (and those of you who read this who are not from Poole/Bournemouth, I'm sorry, you won't have a clue what I'm on about!) but the biggest issue is that it's extremely hard to argue for a raised speed limit.

Because if you argue for a raised speed limit, then you are effectively arguing that it doesn't matter if more people die. Because it can be proved that speed kills. So therefore it's an impossible situation to be in, as shown with the following mathematical equation.

Desire for Higher Speed Limits = CHILD MURDERER!

But do you know what? I don't think that's always true. Let's take the Wessex Way as an example for a moment (and for those of you who don't know it, it's a long, mostly straight dual carriageway, which used to be 50mph all the way along, and now one section of it is 40mph). It's got some short slip roads leading onto it, and therefore I don't think it should be over 50, but other than that there's no pedestrians and therefore I don't see the reasoning for the 40mph limit.

Currently the justification (as listed in one of the articles I linked earlier) states that "between 2004 and 2008, there were an average of 2.4 accidents and 3.3 casualties a month. But between February and May this year, this reduced to an average of 1.5 accidents and 2 casualties – a drop of 37.5 per cent and 39.4 per cent respectively. "

Yes, that looks like an awful lot in the percentage statistics, but in real life that's a drop of 0.9 accidents per month. That's less than one. And that's ignoring the most important issue here, which is that you cannot compare an average gained over four years (which includes time before the alterations were made to the laning etc near the Frizzel end) to an average gained over 3 months. One wonders why they didn't compare a specific February to May section of their statistics to the ones they have gathered. And I suspect that it's because they would have shown bugger all difference.

But enough of that, I know what you're all after. So here it is. Brawny's sarcastic-yet-vaguely-sensible suggestions for how to overhaul our roads.

1) Increase the national speed limit.

Increase it to 100mph. The national limit of 70mph was established in 1965. There weren't many road cars that could drive faster than that in 1965! Everyone speeds on Motorways anyway - and while I don't know the statistics for them (mainly because I can't find them) I wouldn't imagine the fatality rates for driving at 100mph in modern vehicles are much worse than driving at 70.

2) Motorcycle lanes.

I would say this, because I'm a motorcyclist. But it'd be really handy.

3) Strict limits in built up/urban areas.

As much as it pains me to say it (and I hate driving at 20mph as much as the next motorist) but built up and urban areas are higher risk when it comes to driving, due to those irritating-but-not-going-anywhere-soon pedestrians. So keep strict limits. Cameras by schools etc is fine, and indeed I can see as a very good idea.

4) Have a long look at all roads to evaluate speed limits.

This is where all the Wessex Way moaning from earlier fits in. Just look at roads with a sensible eye to gauge the speed it should be. And don't let panicking over-reactionaries make you slow it down.

5) Stop assuming all drivers want to speed.

I hate this assumption. It happens even more with me, since I'm a motorcyclist, have long hair and am still (relatively) young. (Yes, I know I'm turning 30 this year, but I'm still young. Dammit.) People therefore assume I want to ride everywhere at 120mph. Not true. I just want to feel like I'm getting somewhere in the manner that combines the quickest with the safest. And most of the time that works. If we raised the national speed limit and re-evaluated speeds on all the roads, then maybe we'd all get where we are going as quickly and safely as possible.

Oh and I almost forgot...

6) Ban BMW drivers. You know it makes sense.

So what do you think? How would you improve our roads? Send an e-mail to whothehellcares@pointlessdiscussion.com.

Time has passed....

I know, I know, what you're all waiting for is for me to supply you with my now month-overdue Dr Who Finale reviews, right?

Well tough. Too much time has passed now, and I'm not going back to do them now, so suffice it to say that I enjoyed the finale a great deal, and I would have rated both parts as 9/10. So there.

Moving on, I know what you're all thinking, you're thinking "I haven't heard much from Brawny in a while, is he dead?" Well no, I'm not dead (but thanks for your concern!) I've just been busy. As most of you are probably aware, I finally made the big move back to Poole, and since then I've started a new job, moved into a new flat with the ever gorgeous Neety, two turtles, ten games consoles (not including handhelds) and have been generally rather busy. So sorry for that.

Now I am aware that this ought to be the point where I promise to write more, but I'm not going to say that, as now that I don't have access to this at work every day, so I can't write when I'm bored at work, then my posts are probably going to decrease in relation to the number I used to write. I'd like to pretend that less quantity will mean more quality, but this probably isn't the case either. I'm not going to drastically change what I write about or the style of my writing, so the best promise I can make is that you will get less of the same.

But that's still better than no bread, right?

Also, my writing is being taken up with a one act play that's been commissioned and I need to have written by the end of the month, a novel that I'm determined to finish the rewrite on so that I can sell it to you, the idiotic enthusiastic members of my fanbase through the wonders of Createspace and Amazon (So I may sell, what, three copies?), I have several half finished scripts on my computer I need to finish and I also intend to write and record an album that'll be avaliable on iTunes and Spotify by the end of the year.

Do I expect to make any money from this? No. But as I am turning 30 I've decided that its better to make my stuff avaliable, rather than keep it hidden on my hard drive, so there we go.

Anyway, I have to go now, because I do have a dinner to make (mmm, Steak and Mash), some Kingdom Hearts walkthrough to read to Neety when she gets stuck (Throw Fire at the Pillar!) and later on, some DVDs to watch (movie night with the Neet, YAY!).

But fear not! Brawny ramblings will return, in fact, there are a couple already half-written. So keep an eye on this, I'll write soon, I promise. But for now, just go about your daily business.

For now....

REVIEW: Doctor Who - The Lodger (5.11)

DOCTOR WHO: THE LODGER

In Which: The Doctor attempts to pass himself off as a normal human being, while Amy is stuck in the TARDIS...

What did I think?: Strangely (being as I have an irrational hatred of James Corden) I really enjoyed this episode. To me it felt like it was something different, while still being Doctor Who. I think, on the whole, I enjoyed it more than last weeks episode, but I wouldn't say it was better necessarily.

It's strange that this series has effectively delivered a companion-lite episode, for the first time in three full seasons that one hasn't been needed! (For those of you who don't understand this statement, allow me to explain. Due to the fact that the filming periods for Series' 2, 3 and 4 contained 14 episodes (including the Christmas Special each year) and they were the same amount of time as for 13 episodes, then each year had a "Doctor and Companion-Lite" episode, so that the actors were able to shoot a different episode at the same time. Series 2's was the infamous "Love and Monsters", Series 3 had "Blink" and Series 4 gave us a Doctor-Lite episode in "Turn Left" and a Companion-Lite episode in "Midnight"). However, Amy's sidelining here was good, allowing the Doctor to shine in what almost felt like a buddy-comedy episode, with him and James Cordon's Craig.

Just to be clear - even though I am filled with irrational Corden-hatred, I thought he was quite good in this, and the relationship between Craig and Sophie was well-played, understated yet believable. Plus, the fat man got the girl, which always gets a cheer from me, as I am a fat man!

The more I think back on it, the more I loved this episode. So much stuff was pitch perfect and with this and Vincent and the Doctor, I'm finally starting to feel that the Eleventh Doctor (incidentally, how cool was it that he finally confirmed, on screen and in dialogue that he was the eleventh? That's never happened in NuWho) is settling in and that scripts are tailored to him, the last of the Tennant-isms having finally departed.

And the time machine at the end was brilliant. "Someone's attempt to build a TARDIS" - I know we'll probably never refer to the mysterious person/race's attempt to build it again - but one wonders what civilisation has enough knowledge about TARDISes (Yes I know that plural looks weird, but that's because TARDIS is an acronym and you shouldn't pluralise acronyms. If it was a word would the plural be Tardii? Don't know...) to try and build their own equivalent time machine. Or maybe he just meant it in a general "complicated time/space travel ship" generalisation, rather than a specific TARDIS.

And the ending, with Amy finding the ring? What a perfect moment. (I did worry she'd find it and do the sitcom-plotline of thinking he was going to propose to her - but I'm glad that hasn't happened!)

Is it just me, however, or does it feel a little weird having these two character-based single episodes next to each other? I understand why - they need to distance themselves from the cracks/Rory events of Cold Blood by a couple of episodes before the finale (Where the cracks will re-appear, and I'm thinking maybe Rory will too...) but it seems like they could have swapped one of these with something earlier in the season maybe... but I don't know.

The Good: Performances. The believable romance. CG was nice and minimal. The new Time Machine set was lovely.

The Bad: Cordon did a few times resort to his "I'm a large laddish bloke" acting as a default. Slightly strange scheduling of these two episodes next to each other...

Conclusion: 9/10

Next Week: The Pandorica Opens... (I don't know what it is, or what happens when it opens, but it sure sounds exciting!)

REVIEW: Doctor Who - Vincent and the Doctor (5.10)

I know, I know, I'm posting this review the day before the next episode. Sue me, I've been busy!

DOCTOR WHO: VINCENT AND THE DOCTOR

In Which: The Doctor and Amy spy a monster in a Van Gogh painting, and go and visit the man himself to find out what's going on

What did I think?: This was a strange episode. Not so much a normal Dr Who episode as a character study of Vincent Van Gogh. It had heart, and pathos, and felt like it belonged in an entirely different series. This is not a complaint, as I thought it was a good episode, but it did feel slightly out of place.

Tony Curran was a magnificent Van Gogh, and the whole atmosphere of the episode was superb. Van Gogh's depression was mentioned (in as much as something like that can be in a family show like Dr Who), and all of the character interaction was wonderful.

But what of the plot? Sadly, I didn't find it that interesting. In a way, I would have preferred the whole episode to be about the Doctor, Amy and Vincent, without the invisible monster at all.

Yes that's right, I said invisible monster. The budget cuts raise their head again - although it did work quite well. The problem was, the monster felt like it was from a completely different episode. I understand that they needed a plot for Van Gogh to work against, and to triumph (even if, as it was discovered at the end of the episode, the triumph was temporary), allowing him a little moment of happiness.

But this is a minor niggle. It was a good episode. Bill Nighy was seven shades of awesome (as one would expect from Bill Nighy) and Matt Smith shined in this episode, once again as the Doctor who doesn't know the answer to everything - most notably in this case, how to help Vincent.

The ending was, as has become traditional this series, superb. And the moment where Van Gogh is standing in an exhibition of his own work and is overwhelmed was brilliantly shot. The Doctor is obviously still struggling to keep the Rory information from Amy, although Vincent can see she's lost someone - which confuses Amy.

The Good: Performances and character work - all excellent.

The Bad: The Monster story felt sort of tacked-on, and I do wonder if the whole script could have been done without it.

Conclusion: 8/10